A few weeks ago, on an early fall day, my kids and I took a walk through our neighborhood.\u00a0 During our stroll, we came across a flowering tree that was just beginning to lose its blooms.\u00a0 We stood beneath the tree and watched hundreds of bright pink blossoms surrender their hold and fall to the ground.\u00a0 As if standing in a pink blizzard, we witnessed the flowers come floating and dancing to the ground covering it in a soft, pastel blanket.<\/p>\n
Lately, I have felt much like those blooms.\u00a0 I have felt that I am falling, or more accurately, that I am falling apart.\u00a0 There are days, when despite my best efforts, my failing strength gives way and I simply cannot hold on.\u00a0 Frustration, grief, anger, disillusionment, hopelessness, and fear all get the best of me and I am suddenly spinning out of control towards the ground.\u00a0 And like all of us do, I fight so hard to maintain control.\u00a0 Fingers clenched, knuckles white, muscles tensed, I grip the branches of this world with desperation and misplaced resolve.\u00a0 I struggle to remain self-sufficient and capable.\u00a0 But eventually, the struggle ends, my grip fails me and I find myself falling.\u00a0 And in those moments, in those failures, I berate myself for not holding on tighter, for not having enough strength, for losing control.\u00a0 And I imagine how utterly weak I must appear and wonder if God sees me as I see myself.\u00a0 Thankfully, I am certain that He doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 As I thought about the floating blooms, I recalled that the sight of countless flowers dancing to the ground was absolutely beautiful.\u00a0 And I was struck with the idea that perhaps when we fall, just like the blossoms on that tree floating to earth, God sees us as beautiful.\u00a0 Is it possible that at the very moment we finally let go of whatever branch we are clinging to, it is in that instant that God finds us truly stunning and breathtaking?\u00a0 Here we are falling hopelessly apart and God calls us beautiful.<\/p>\n
It brought to mind the first of the beatitudes.\u00a0 In Matthew 5: 3, Jesus declares, \u201cBlessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 When I did some digging, as usual, the insights were profound. First of all, let\u2019s be clear that \u201cspirit\u201d is referring, not to the Holy Spirit, but to our human spirit, our rational soul, or our disposition.\u00a0 And when I dug deeper into the Greek word for poor, it was nothing short of enlightening.\u00a0 The word, ptochos<\/em>, is actually derived from the word ptosso<\/em>, meaning \u201cto crouch.\u201d\u00a0 So put together, \u201cpoor in spirit\u201d seems to imply a condition in which our disposition causes us to crouch.\u00a0 Now let me tell you that, with little exception, in my darkest and hardest moments I have found myself curled up in my bed, or huddled on the floor, or tucked up in the fetal position trying to comfort myself.\u00a0 I have crouched.\u00a0 My disparity, my mood, my disposition has brought about a physical posture.\u00a0 For me, that changes the impact of the verse.\u00a0 I have, more times than I can count, been crouched in sadness or despair.\u00a0 I have been poor in spirit.\u00a0 It strikes me that, rather than a pervasive existence, being poor in spirit is a pointed, specific condition.<\/p>\n And now, for the glorious promise that Jesus bestows to those who are poor in spirit.\u00a0 Most translations state the second part of verse 3 as saying, \u201cfor theirs is the kingdom of God.\u201d\u00a0 However, in the Greek, the verse actually reads, \u201cbecause of them is the kingdom of the heavens.\u201d\u00a0 It\u2019s magnificent, isn\u2019t it?\u00a0 That the kingdom of heaven exists because of the poor in spirit.\u00a0 To think that God, in His grace, foresaw the human condition with all its heartache and decided that He must create a place where such heartache would have no quarter.\u00a0 And in promising such an existence, He granted such powerful hope to those of us who find ourselves, at one time or another, poor in spirit.\u00a0 For it is more often than not, the very guarantee of heaven\u2019s existence that pulls us along and lifts us from our despair.\u00a0 As we are falling apart, the assurance that God has indeed seen our condition and limited its power is both thrilling and humbling.\u00a0 He will only allow so much.\u00a0 Our earthly anguish is just that, earthly.\u00a0 It is bound to this world and is allowed no passage to the heavenly kingdom.\u00a0 And suddenly, the realization that my spirit\u2019s condition has produced such beauty, such grace, such richness is astonishing.<\/p>\n We are all falling apart at times.\u00a0 We are falling apart and God sees.\u00a0 We are falling apart and God moves.\u00a0 He moves so majestically that a kingdom is created.\u00a0 And until that kingdom comes, we will continue to fall apart periodically.\u00a0 And as we fall, God will call us beautiful.<\/p>\nShare this:<\/h3>