Most of the stories in the Bible are about the doers and the goers.\u00a0 The pages are filled with stories of great men and women who heeded the call and followed God into the heat of battle whether figurative or literal.\u00a0 Noah built an ark, Moses led a people to freedom and Esther made the wager of a lifetime.\u00a0 David fought, Peter preached and Paul globetrotted while declaring the gospel to all corners of his world.<\/p>\n
What you don\u2019t find a whole lot of in scripture is stories about the ones who stayed behind.\u00a0 The equippers and enablers don\u2019t get a tremendous amount of press.\u00a0 I wish they did.\u00a0 I wish there was a story about Peter\u2019s wife as he went off to preach to thousands at the Pentecost.\u00a0 Did some part of her long to accompany him?\u00a0 Did Solomon\u2019s best friend occasionally ache for just a bit of his notoriety and glory?\u00a0 As Miriam walked alongside her brother Moses, did she ever feel a pang of jealousy wishing her role was greater, her impact more notable?\u00a0 Maybe not, but I like to think that somewhere along the way, some of the ones who stayed behind felt a sadness at their position and wondered when it would be their turn to go, to do.<\/p>\n
I am ready for my turn.\u00a0 I am a stay-at-home mom and by extension, I am usually left behind.\u00a0 The last twelve and a half years of my life have been spent equipping and enabling my children and husband to realize their potential and chase their dreams.\u00a0 I have also supported friends around me as they pursue their passions.\u00a0 I have watched kids, donated to mission trips and embraced the role of prayer partner from my living room.\u00a0 As family and friends have adventures and blossom in their respective arenas, I cheer from the sidelines and wish them well on their journeys. They are going.\u00a0 They are doing.\u00a0 And it feels like all I am doing is laundry and dishes. Don\u2019t get me wrong.\u00a0 I love my children and I have no regrets about the choice I made to stay home and raise them. But I find that I am now in the autumn of this journey and I am anxious for what is next.\u00a0 And my heart aches.\u00a0 For adventure.\u00a0 For impact.\u00a0 For something more than my normal.<\/p>\n
In the midst of all of this, I took my usual course and scoured scripture for some clarity, some reassurance that I am where God wants me.\u00a0 I came upon one of my old favorites, the story of Mary and Martha.\u00a0 I have generally felt that I am much more of a Martha.\u00a0 Perhaps due to the mention of preparation and serving, it seemed that much of my time was spent being a Martha.\u00a0 Today, however, I see the story in a new light and it gives me hope.\u00a0 If I look at the example in a larger light, I can liken Martha to those around me that are going and serving and doing while I, Mary, sit home.\u00a0 But although Mary is sitting, it is where she is sitting that is significant.\u00a0 She sits at the feet of Jesus.\u00a0 And she listens. I\u2019m sure that Mary got up later that day.\u00a0 I\u2019m sure she worked and went and did.\u00a0 But at that moment she recognized her opportunity to spend time with her Lord and she seized it.\u00a0 And it occurred to me that maybe this is exactly what is before me right now; an opportunity to sit, an opportunity to listen, an opportunity to be still and be available.<\/p>\n
I find that amazing things happen when I am still.\u00a0 The day my good friend left for Africa was the day before my husband left for eight days.\u00a0 I was feeling lonely, left behind and small.\u00a0 I decided to call another good friend that I hadn\u2019t spoken with in months.\u00a0 As we spoke, God\u2019s timing was revealed and I was awestruck.\u00a0 The night before the phone call, my friend had made a very difficult and sad life decision and hadn\u2019t been able to process it with anyone.\u00a0 And in that moment, we both realized that God had made me available that morning for her.\u00a0 He had stilled my life so that I might be led to that very instant.\u00a0 So that I might listen to his leading and be obedient.\u00a0 And as I listened to my dear friend weep and lament what was coming, my heart tore for her and yet, I was profoundly grateful for the intersection of our lives at just the right time.<\/p>\n
It makes me wonder if Martha would\u2019ve missed that.\u00a0 Would she have been so busy being busy that she would\u2019ve learned weeks later what had transpired?\u00a0 I\u2019m certainly not minimizing Martha\u2019s passion to serve.\u00a0 There are times for that.\u00a0 Countless children of God have gone, have led, have fought and because of them the gospel has reached millions.\u00a0 Going and doing is critical, it is necessary and it is admirable beyond words.\u00a0 But for me, for now, I need to learn to rest in being a Mary.\u00a0 I need to see being left behind as a blessing rather than a burden.\u00a0 I need to take this energy I use lamenting my lot and use it to steer my heart towards God.<\/p>\n
I am certain that I will go.\u00a0 Someday.\u00a0 I will pursue my passions and have adventures beyond my wildest expectations.\u00a0 But today I will sit.\u00a0 I will be still.\u00a0 I will be available.\u00a0 I will listen.<\/p>\n